Wednesday, 17 August 2011

Men, Women And PMS ...

 
 
Men, Women And PMS ...

For all its worth, Men and women are very different. One lot shaves the face, the other lot shaves legs. One lot likes the toilet seat up, the other (for some twisted reason) insist they want it down. One lot suffers PMS and the other faces the wrath. PMS makes even the most friendly of women grow two horns, a tail and acquire a new broom to fly on. These are the days of the month when all a man has to do is open his mouth and he will face hell equal to locking himself in a room full of enthusiastic suicide bombers!

To avoid death OR WORSE these are the rules of engagement for men during PMS.

1) DONT talk to her unless she talked to you. All your answers should start with the word honey.

2) DONT change the TV channel if she is infront of it. It doesn't matter if she is asleep infront of it.

3) DONT ask what's for dinner otherwise it will be your ass for dinner. And no matter what she made, ITS GREAT. It doesn't matter whether it was salt-less pumpkin soup. ITS GREAT!

4) DONT mention PMS at all even by mistake. If you do, you will know why people say it means Psychotic Mood Shift, Pissy Mood Syndrome or Potential Murder Suspect.

5) DONT ask her what she is so worked up about. Trust me, you liked her better the way she was before you said that.

6) YOU are on her side NO MATTER HOW STUPID her argument is. If she tells the waiter the pizza is too round, as far as you are concerned, ITS TOO DAMN ROUND.

7) DONT answer phone calls from any woman unless its your mother and even then, talk to her on loudspeaker. And to be safe, start every sentence with Mother.

8) YOUR DAY WAS GREAT! It doesn't matter if your boss stood on your desk and peed on your head and then invited fellow employees to do the same. YOUR DAY WAS GREAT!

9) UNLESS SHE KISSES YOU, and you are VERY SURE she started it ... and you can feel her tongue in your mouth, DONT TRY TO KISS HER! AND DONT TOUCH ANYTHING ELSE!

10) If you think she is faking PMS, you are signing a death wish. She can fake PMS coz she gets it. You never get so how do you know when she is faking and when she aint? If she says she has PMS, SHE HAS PMS!

And am sure with these few things, you will be safer than most people. Note that I said safer, NOT SAFE. YOU AINT SAFE UNTIL ITS OVER. Try anything else and you will know they called it PMS because mad cow disease was taken. ...

Tuesday, 16 August 2011

Matters of the heart; check it out

What Do Women Consider Good Sex? Men find out...

  • What You Need To Know
  • Consider foreplay a 24-hour experience that happens in and out of the bedroom.
  • Play to your strengths by being confident in your abilities.
  • Think in terms of stimulating her vulva rather than just penetrating the vagina.
1- Think Like A “Knob,” Not A “Switch.”
When comparing male and female sexuality, there’s no shortage of adages: “Men are like light switches -- just flip them on, and they’re ready to go. Women are like knobs -- you can turn them up and down. Men are like driving standard transmission -- if you move through the gears in the right order, you will get where you want to go. Women are like baking a soufflĂ© -- the outcome depends on the ingredients and the chef, sure, but it  also depends on the reliability of the oven, the altitude, the humidity of the day… more variables, more variability. In short, think of foreplay as a 24-hour experience that happens both in and out of the bedroom. Sex is all about context. And while it may take very little to rev your engine, remember that she probably needs to simmer.

2- When You’re Getting It On, Make Sure She’s Completely Relaxed And Comfortable.
Researchers in the Netherlands have found that the key to getting a woman turned on and to the heights of orgasmic bliss is a deep sense of relaxation and a lack of anxiety. Brain scans showed that the parts of women’s brains responsible for processing fear, anxiety and emotion slowed down the more aroused they became, producing a trancelike state at orgasm. Men showed far less change in these regions. “What this means is that deactivation, letting go of all fear and anxiety, might be the most important thing, even necessary, to have an orgasm,” says the study’s lead researcher, Dr. Gert Holstege.

3- Take The Time To Figure Out What Works.
Every woman is different, and most women don’t even orgasm the first couple of times they’re with a guy. A woman has to feel comfortable, and a guy has to figure out what makes her tick sexually. Some women love wet, sloppy kisses; other women find saliva a total turnoff. Some women love lots of breast stimulation; other women can’t stand it at all. Some women love to be on top in bed; others love missionary style. Some women respond to intense clitoral stimulation; others require very little. Some women have an innate capacity to experience multiple orgasms; others are more like guys -- they roll over, and they’re ready to go to sleep. Figure out a sex script that works, and stick to it. Sure, familiarity can breed boredom, but it can also yield consistent orgasms.

4- Once You Know What Works, Wrap It In Something Fresh: Fantasy.
A healthy fantasy life is one of the keys to a great sex life -- even when your partner might not always play the leading role. Most people find that they are most sexually satisfied when they are intimate with one person with whom they feel completely comfortable. Along with this intimacy comes the freedom to let go and explore, including fantasizing about other people, places and situations. One study on sexual fantasy by noted expert Dr. Harold Leitenberg found that sexual fantasies occur most often in people with the highest sexual satisfaction and the healthiest sex lives.

5- Play To Your Strengths.
Very few guys make love like porn stars, nor should we. We live in the real world, and we all have sexual strengths and weaknesses. Some men suffer from erectile disorder on a regular basis, and some guys have a smaller-than-average penis. Develop “sex scripts” -- paths to pleasure -- that play to your strengths. And be willing to communicate. Wouldn’t it be great if penises could talk -- honestly and clearly -- about their feelings, especially when it comes to issues in the bedroom? Most women don’t know how to “speak penis,” so give them a clue.

6- Get Cliterate.
When embarking on a journey of female sexual response, know your way around her vulva -- from the northern tippy-top of the clitoral glans (the “love-button,” so to speak), to the western and eastern boundaries of the labia minora (her inner lips), to the southernmost regions of the perineum (the smooth expanse of skin just below the vaginal entrance) and anus. Stop thinking of the clitoris as a little bump, and start thinking of it as a complex network, a pleasure dome, the Xanadu at the heart of female sexuality. The clitoris has more than 8,000 nerve fibers -- more than any other part of the human body -- and interacts with another 15,000 nerve fibers that service the entire pelvic area. “Nerves are like wolves or birds: If one starts crying, there goes the neighborhood,” writes Natalie Angier of the clitoral network. Think in terms of stimulating her vulva rather than just penetrating her vagina.

7- The Tongue Is Mightier Than The Sword.
When it comes to pleasuring women and conversing in the language of love, cunnilingus should be every man’s native tongue. Even porn star Ron Jeremy, in possession of the famous 10-inch member, observed, “More women have gotten off with my tongue than with my penis.” Once found, a skilled cunnilinguist rarely goes unappreciated. Not sure exactly how? Just press a flat, still tongue against her vulva, and let her do the work. It’s the cunnilingus equivalent of letting her get on top.Unfortunately many men do not learn the true principles of cunnilingus or how to pleasure a woman at the outset, and so, even with the best intentions, their form is without substance. If we were to compare cunnilingus to another art -- the martial arts -- it would be Tai Chi. Unlike Kung Fu, Tai Chi is slow, focused and graceful, with an emphasis on the balance of yin/yang (male/female energy) to create a harmony of movement and strength. Artful cunnilingus involves many of the same principles as Tai Chi: stillness within movement, balance and pressure, resistance, and key postures.

8- Show Some Sexual Courtesy, As In “She Comes First.”
Unlike men, women don’t reach a point of “orgasmic inevitability” -- the moment when, even without further physical stimulation, a guy ventures past the point of no return. In fact, men and women are so different in this respect that many women claim to “lose” an orgasm just as they’re on the verge of having one, which can be particularly frustrating, especially if it occurs regularly. Guys need to pay attention to the journey through female arousal, particularly those final moments of potential orgasmic ecstasy. Recognize the visible signs of female arousal, mainly the muscular tension that develops throughout her body and that will ultimately demand release. Look especially for tension in the hands and feet and throughout her pelvic area.

9- Grab A Vibrator Off The Shelf.
Make like Obi-Wan Kenobi with that thing. Wield it like a Jedi master, and the force of the female orgasm will be with you. According to Nagoski, most women orgasm easiest when using a vibrator. “The mechanical vibration provided by toys is more intense than anything a hand, phallus, tongue, fresh produce, or other organic stimulus can provide,” she writes. “More stimulation [leads to] more arousal [leads to] easier/faster orgasm.” Women generally take longer to orgasm than men, and a lot of men find it hard to last long enough during sex. A vibrator helps you and your partner get at least halfway home, if not take you all the way. With just a little bit of practice, a guy can take the pressure off of his penis and not worry about how long he’s going to last, but instead enjoy the immediacy of plugging into his partner’s arousal.

10- Finally, Don’t Forget To Cuddle.
To paraphrase the pioneering sexologist Theodore van de Velde, it’s in the moments after orgasm that a man proves whether or not he's an “erotically civilized”

Skiza ua local radio online

click  here to listen to your favorite Kenyan radio online.Isn't this cool, guess all other radio stations should follow suit. Enjoy

Top ten myths about sex

No.1 Women Can't Get Pregnant If A Man Pulls Out
The “pull-out” method, also known as the rhythm method, is potentially the worst possible form of birth control. Men do not always know when ejaculatory fluid begins to seep out -- and even ahead of a perceptible orgasm, pre-ejaculate (which includes sperm) is released and is enough to get a woman pregnant. In fact, one in five couples who use this method as their only form of birth control over the course of a year will end up pregnant.

No.2 Fantasizing About Someone Else Is A Bad Thing
A large part of the sexual experience starts with your brain, not your body, and sometimes your brain can wander. If you are committed to your lady, and your relationship is in a good place, it’s OK to think about Angelina (Jolie) or Megan (Fox) every now and then.

No.3 Premature Ejaculation Only Affects Young Men
Some men do find that premature ejaculation begins at the onset of sexual maturity, but plenty of men also find it to be an issue later in life. In fact, premature ejaculation affects 30% of men at sometime in their lives.

Often, early ejaculation in men who are in their 30s or older is a co-symptom of erectile dysfunction or fatigue, poor cardiovascular conditioning, depression, anxiety, or neurological symptoms.

No.4 Oral Sex Is Safer Than Vaginal And Anal Sex
From teenagers to former President Bill Clinton, oral sex seems to have the stigma of a “free pass” as far as sexual relationships go. Yes, it does count as sex, and yes, you can get a sexually transmitted disease from oral sex. There is still an exchange of fluids, meaning that diseases can enter your body through sores or small cuts in your mouth and throat.

No.5 Certain Foods Can Put You In The Mood
Named for the Greek goddess of sensuality and love,aphrodisiacs are said to put you in the mood. While oysters, dark chocolate, strawberries, and tiger penis might make you feell’amour, there is no scientific evidence to support the validity of aphrodisiacs. However, while there is no science to foods and/or herbs causing arousal, a certain food can trigger an erotic memory or desire in your own mind -- so in a sense, we all have our own aphrodisiacs.

No.6 Size Matters
Even if every guy you know can probably tell you exactly how big his penis is, size is not a barometer for manhood. As anyone with sexual experience knows, true sexual enthusiasm far outweighs any gifted parts. And contrary to another popular sex myth, the size of your member has nothing to do with the size of your hands or feet.

No.7 Viagra Is The Answer
While many people believe Viagra and other similar oral medications are the best or only treatment for men with erectile dysfunction, the truth is that for many men these drugs are not a viable option or they simply are not effective. Oral medications are only a temporary fix to a problem that may have other underlying health causes that should be addressed by a qualified physician. In addition, many men with health conditions, including hypertension and diabetes, cannot take oral prescriptions due to serious potential side effects or contraindications with other medications. For men who cannot use oral meds, there are a number of other options including urethral suppositories and ICP, an injection that produces an erection within minutes.

No.8 After A Certain Age, Sex Is No Longer Important
Sex is an important aspect of physical and emotional health and well-being for adults of all ages, even those in their golden years. While some people believe that a decrease in libido is a natural part of aging, a loss of sexual desire can be related to a number of other factors including hormone deficiencies, depression, anxiety disorders, side effects of medication, changes to a relationship, communication barriers, or loss of a spouse or partner.

No.9 Men Have More Sexual Urges Than Women
Though many men would have you believe they’re ready to go 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, the truth is that men experience daily fluctuations in libido, as do women. A man’s readiness to hop in the sack can be impacted by many of the same factors that impact a woman’s level of desire, including diet, sleep, health, stress, medical conditions, self-confidence, and relationship disharmony.

No.10 Great Sex Comes Naturally
The physical chemistry you see on TV and in the movies suggests that when two lovers meet, sparks fly and mind-blowing sexnaturally follows. As we all know, in the real world, it’s not always that easy. The human body doesn’t come with an instruction manual. The “tricks of the trade” that pleased a former partner do not always translate with someone new. Good communication is the key to good sex, as is a willingness to be open to trying new techniques and positions to find out what each partner finds pleasurable. It can be a little awkward at first to over-communicate during sex, but think about the outcome: a partner who knows how to do it right every time.

Now that you’ve brushed up your knowledge on the top 10 sex myths, you can go out and have the best sex of your life. Just remember: While it is very important to stay safe and be smart, sex is not only a necessary bodily function, but also a very enjoyable bodily function.









Sunday, 14 August 2011

Miguna: Raila not agent of change after all


BY MIGUNA MIGUNA
Mohamed Isahakia has been sued because he issued the so-called suspension letter and leaked it to the press (electronic, radio and TV) more than 20 hours before it was delivered to me.
The Attorney General has been sued because he is the competent government authority that is legally liable for or on behalf of the Government of Kenya. If the head of public service, the PM or the President do anything unlawful or illegal, the person to sue is the AG.
Let me underline the following:
1. My counterpart, Prof. Kivutha Kibwana and Raphael Tuju were hired on contract as advisors at job group “V”, which is the same job group as the head of public service, Francis Muthaura.
2. My contract was to last until the end of the coalition government. In other words, I am employed on a fixed-term contract until the coalition government is dissolved. If the coalition government is dissolved in August or December 2012, my contract lapses automatically.
3. However, if – for whatever reasons – my contract is terminated (I cannot be dismissed because this is a contractual relationship; termination of a contract must be for material breach, etc), the employer is obligated to pay ALL my dues up to the end of the contract.
4. So far, the employer has breached the employment contract in two material ways: first, the employer has refused to pay me the same as Kibwana; and two, the employer has purported to suspend me without pay.
5. There is no suspension for the alleged infractions in law in Kenya. I could only be suspended if I was convicted or being tried for SERIOUS criminal offenses. Neither has happened.
6. There is no indefinite suspension in Kenyan law. The letter I was issued with does not provide the duration of the suspension. It is blanket.
7. Due process was not followed. I was not given a “show cause” letter with detailed particulars and asked to respond within a specific amount of time.
8. I was not requested to return from vacation and a proper “show cause” letter issued to me in a humane and dignified manner.
9. The withdrawal of my salary, allowances and benefits was both illegal and actuated by malice.
10. The withdrawal of my security and government issued vehicle was both illegal and actuated by malice.
11. The summary termination of employment of all my staff was both illegal and actuated by malice.
12. The leakage of the “suspension letter” to the media before it was served on me was unlawful and actuated by malice.
13. The discussion of my so-called suspension with third parties unrelated to my employment such as James Orengo, Jakoyo Midiwo, Oburu Odinga, Francis Muthaura, Francis Kimemia, Alfred Mutua, Caroli Omondi and Mohammed Isahakia was both unlawful and actuated by malice.
14. The failure by the PM to contact me for more than one week (up to now) proves malicious intent.
15. The IIEC has disclosed to the PM that I was not involved in the alleged “interference” with the commission.
16. I was not an employee of the ODM party. I was not answerable to ODM or to Jakoyo Midiwo, etc.
17. In any event, I was instructed to write my article on the IIEC chairman and the position he had taken with respect to the party’s decision to kick out rebellious MPs and Councillors.
18. It was the PM who instructed me to write a column on topical social, political, governance, legal and constitutional issues. Indeed, the PM has on a number of occasions not only given me specific assignments; he has consistently approved of and praised (many times in the presence of others) my articles and defended me when PNU have demanded that I be either stopped from writing or be fired for the same.
19. Lastly, the manner of “suspension” does not accord with the principles in the constitution, the law and good governance.
20. Under the circumstances, I am fully entitled to fight for my rights and to insist that those in positions of power abide by, uphold and respect both the constitution and the rule of law.
21. My “suspension” has absolutely nothing to do with the “reasons” that were given in Isahakia’s letter, nor those attributed to Jakoyo Midiwo. Truth, honesty and integrity must prevail.
I have reluctantly taken this action after waiting in vain for the Prime Minister to contact me and apologize for this transgression so that the artificially created dispute could be amicably resolved. Unfortunately, he has failed or refused to do so after one whole week. This is neither honourable nor humane. A man who cannot apologize and correct his mistakes has no business pretending to be the symbol of positive change for this country. I would like to underline the fact that I am NOT doing this lightly.
I have sacrificed my professional career, my life – even my family – for Raila Odinga. For him to throw me under the train in such callous, inhumane and clearly barbaric manner astounds me. I have loved Raila Odinga. I have fully trusted Raila Odinga. I have committed all my life and energy to defending and promoting the interests of Raila Odinga and that of the citizens of Kenya and the country at large. I have done so voluntarily because of my commitment to democracy, good governance, justice, equality, equity, the ruler of law and constitutionalism.
Unlike many people in and around the office of the Prime Minister, I have never been involved in corruption. I have never acted in pursuit of personal self interests. On the contrary, I have consistently and courageously opposed corruption at the OPM in particular and in Kenya, generally. I have also opposed – and will continue to fight – mediocrity, tribalism, nepotism and cronyism. My record speaks for itself on these matters.
I did all these things for higher ideals. I believed (I now realize, wrongly), that Raila Odinga was the “agent of change” for our country; the “bridge between the old and the new Kenya”.
I have worked as a slave for Raila Odinga. Raila Odinga knows that I have done nothing wrong. He has been made aware by the IIEC that I was NOT involved at all in any conspiracy to undermine the commission.
I have been advised that the IIEC has informed the PM that an internal IIEC investigation has revealed that the author of the articles published in the Star newspaper under the byline “Gikonyo Boaz” – and whose contents nobody has refuted – is one “Dr Baraza” who is well known to the commission. The PM has been advised that I have no connections, links, nor do I know who Dr Baraza is. Despite all these, the PM and others around him claimed that they were “sacrificing” me “to save Major Oswago”. I am not sure why I should be sacrificed to save anybody.
As I understand it, Mr Oswago is also innocent of the frivolous charges. Even if he was facing allegations of wrongdoing, the best thing that ought to have been done was to accord him due process. No one is or can be condemned unheard. If this were the case, the PM would have been hanged for allegations that he attempted to overthrow the Kenya Government in August 1982.
Over the years, the PM has made it a career of reminding Kenyans of the inviolability of freedom of speech, freedom of the press, freedom of expression, freedom of conscience, freedom to hold different opinions, a fair and functioning judicial system and a functioning democratic system. Indeed, he suffered greatly for championing these ideals. These are the reasons why I have supported him over the years.
Early this morning (August 12, 2011), I received information that on July 6th, 2011 when my staff went to the Prime Minister’s Building to collect my leave allowance, a junior employee at the Human Resource department at the OPM was boasting that I would not be returning to work because I had been fired. My staff did not have the courage to tell me of the rumours in case they turned out to be just rumours.
I am also aware that I was not allocated office space at the PM’s Building last year due to mortal fear by the “power men” from Nyanza that I was becoming too powerful and influential. These “power men” believed that my “power” and influence” were emanating from the proximity I had to the PM.
They thought that discarding me at the NHIF Building in Upper Hill, would dilute the perceived power. However, when they noticed that I continued to discharge my functions with complete commitment, diligence and distinction, the power men panicked and resorted to bestiality. But because they are both cowardly and dishonest, they could not face me with their fabrications. They waited until I was on leave to execute their nefarious plans.
So, quite clearly, the PM and those around him simply wanted to “sacrifice” me for parochial, mischievous and malicious political reasons. The PM has acted both dishonourably and disgracefully.
But in doing so, they acted inhumanely, did not follow due process, and grossly breached my legal and constitutional rights. Nobody can justify these acts. I am not a dog that can be brutalized without consequences.
I shall protect and uphold the rule of law and the Constitution. Those who fear democracy, the rule of law and refuse to uphold the Constitution have no business pretending to represent the ideals of the new dawn.
When it comes to issues of justice, truth, respect for human rights, the rule of law and constitutionalism, I have no other option but to be uncompromising.
I know that the people of Kenya and God are on my side on this. The inhumane and bestial way I have been shunted has touched many people. Everybody knows the positive contributions I have made and will continue to make for the well-being of this country.
To the people of Kenya, I want to say: I shall never bend and serve at the whims of parochial selfish interests.
(Mr Miguna used to be the PM advisor on coalition affairs. He is a Barrister & Solicitor)
Masai mara pictures. These and many more others showcases the real Masai Mara picturesque. Enjoy 

Friday, 12 August 2011

Freelance writing

Trusted sitesThere are many freelance writing sites on the net. but look out as some of them may be scams. I will help you identify some of the sites that you can be assured are not scams. Some of them pay once a month while others do it bi-monthly.

The following sites have the best reputation:
http://www.uvocorp.com/
http://researchwritingcenter.com/
http://www.essaywriters.net/
http://4writers.net

For a full list, you can contact me I help you so that you are not a victim of some of the scam sites.